


How does one ask for attention?

by little_duckie



Category: Naruto
Genre: A take on how Naruto ended up being Naruto, Character Study, Child Neglect, Coping, Gen, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24588934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_duckie/pseuds/little_duckie
Summary: And so, at age eight, with all his knowledge, Naruto catalogued the two types of people in the world as they treated him. He had thought about it long and hard, trying to understand the difference of the treatment of himself and every other person. Being alone his entire life, Naruto only knew of me and them. With time and growing resentment, Naruto began to despise them, those for whom he did not exist.Naruto made his list so, truthful to his own knowledge:1.	Attention: yes (teachers, shop owners, parents, passion in their behavior)2.	Attention: no (the Eyes, the quiet people who moved as swift as the wind)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	How does one ask for attention?

**Author's Note:**

> A short piece I wrote very quickly while wondering how Naruto could have ended up like he did, considering all the problems that must have plagued him growing up in a place where many people were mean to him.

_How does one ask for attention?_

It was a question that kept Naruto busy, for as long as he remembered being aware. Other children, Naruto quickly learnt, don’t even know this question exists. The children he sees at the academy, the ones picked up by their parents -the ones who greeted their children with a smile- had never had to ask for attention. Those children, had never realised _attention, and the lack thereof,_ could be something gained and lost. A known absent, an unknown absent. To Naruto a known unknown, to other children a unknown known.

Perhaps, Naruto thought often, in the privacy of his home - _not, never, he was never alone, always watched, but never actually looked at with regard for Naruto’s wellbeing-_ that he was too observant. Emotionally stunted, is what some would call him, but Naruto understood that he knew too much, too much that he noticed, that others didn’t realise was showing right on their faces.

Teachers at the academy had two ways of handling Naruto, which Naruto noted because these two ways were not used on any of the other children. The first way teachers treated Naruto was with attention to Naruto, focused entirely on his person with a glare so fierce that although Naruto hated being hated, adrenaline coursed through his veins because _at least they_ _paid attention to him._ Put on the spot when being scolded, was the biggest source of attention Naruto felt. It never faltered, always made lasting imprints on his person. It tickled him like a flashbang, silent but _oh so bright_ -in the back of his mind, Naruto felt nauseous, feeling somehow that he was throwing himself off the hokage’s mountain higher and higher just so he could be seen falling. Deep down, Naruto knew this _attention_ was wrong. But it was the only known, he knew not of positive attention, the attention of the parents fixed upon their children.-

The other teachers were quiet, an complete _absence_ of attention. Naruto always felt too empty then, and so he provoked every quiet teacher, because any attention was better than none. The ever watching Eyes too, acted like this. Never speaking to him, never catching his eyes, but always following him, even into Naruto’s dingy apartment.

And so, at age eight, with all his knowledge, Naruto catalogued the two types of people in the world as they treated him. He had thought about it long and hard, trying to understand the difference of the treatment of himself and every other person. Being alone his entire life, Naruto only knew of _me_ and _them._ With time and growing resentment, Naruto began to despise _them, those for whom he did not exist_.

Naruto made his list so, truthful to his own knowledge:

  1. Attention: yes (teachers, shop owners, parents, passion in their behavior)
  2. Attention: no (the Eyes, the quiet people who moved as swift as the wind)



Those who paid attention to him, were suspicious of him, those that despised him and treated him with passionate anger. These were good, as Naruto did not realise the hateful gazes were bad, because these were the only people who _looked -whether at him of through him, were things Naruto could not yet differentiate between-_

Those who _never_ paid attention to him, as if he did not exist -sick sad angry sad nauseous was how Naruto felt at the _absence-_ with entire neutrality as though he were a constant, an object. These were bad, made Naruto feel _bad and empty and_ _aware that he was missing something._

And so Naruto gave the question _How does one ask for attention_ and answer. The answer concluded from his experience, his life had taught him the answer. _Be Bright, that was the answer._ Bright in speech, bright in colour, bright in body language and bright in every way Naruto knew how to. Whether these bright patches were true to his person, Naruto never wondered, because being bright meant he _existed._ Validation is very important to children, and even though Naruto would not know how to put this need into words, he knew that being seen was important to him. A need for _attention,_ any and all attention - _as far as Naruto knew, only one sort of attention existed-._ Naruto coped excellently, as any child does, with patterns ingrained into his very being and unable to break free from these, as they had worked. And so they worked.

**Author's Note:**

> It's also my first post ever! So talk to me! Let me know what you think!


End file.
